anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp