I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
