guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
