someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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