Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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