And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
