He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
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When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
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All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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