I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
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we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
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Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.