It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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