Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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