the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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