I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
