i don't like sucking hair
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize