How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize