The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
