I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
