i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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