i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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