I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
