You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
