she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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