How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
