1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
