now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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