So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
