I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
