I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
