i will never coherently bang her
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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