too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
