have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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