R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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