1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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