No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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