I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
