I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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