Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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