I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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