Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
