Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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