Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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