Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
