garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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