I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
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