My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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