we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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