Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
