he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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