i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
