Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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