New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
