Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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