Soap is not a condiment
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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