you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize