The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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