dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
its not stalking. its research.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
