Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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