I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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