i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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