I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
