make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize