Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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