I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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